Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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