I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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