Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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