im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
pop tarts are not kleenex
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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