Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
My bed smells like the plague
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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