Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
It was a blind-side dick pic.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
