I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
