Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
