is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
