what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
