1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
