So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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