the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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