I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
