the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Dear god my vagina.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
