why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Welp...herpes.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
