I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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