my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My liver is preforming stress tests.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
