look no pants
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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