Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
