Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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