You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i will never coherently bang her
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
