I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So apparently I’m into choking now
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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