she woke up with a sticky ear
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
