My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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