Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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