Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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