Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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