i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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