I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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