So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
