also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
