Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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