At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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