Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
