Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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