Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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