I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
