I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
