it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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