that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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