sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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