i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I need water and some morals
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
