he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
