We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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