You're so nebulous sometimes
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
