just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
