Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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