Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
