Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
